How you know you're a writer


1.      The notes section in your IPhone is full.

Do you do this? … You’re sitting on the train on your way home from work right? Some odd-looking guy gets on the same carriage, northern line. He’s wearing a yellow, rubber ducky tie and he has odd socks.

You’re just thinking… what the?
Then bam! Quick, unlock your phone. Open a new notes page.

You write down his name, Tyron (sorry Ty).

You describe his attire. Eccentric… hmm unconventional.

This odd-ball who we've named Tyron, works in central London and he definitely doesn’t carry paperwork in his oversized briefcase.

And there you have it. Another notes page with yet another fabulous character to add to your never ending story ideas.


2.       You read a lot. Nobody ever has time for reading, or so they say.

If you have time to watch Stranger Things on Netflix, then you have time to read.

If you have time to chat on the phone, then you have time to read.

If you have time to upload a photo of your lunch to Instagram, then you have time to read!
You get the message.


It’s something so many people don’t MAKE time for. I’m guilty of this one myself. Although I read countless children’s books during the day thanks to my job. I guess for me that counts, as that’s the audience I write for.

3.       You refer to yourself in the third person. This is totally just storytelling, so you’re completely normal.

Perhaps you’re taking your own name for a test run, as it could be the perfect name for that character in your forever-never-finished-novel.

Or you’re a teacher and that’s always been a valid excuse for talking in the third person, right?


4.       You correct everyone! Are you that annoying person in the office when someone says aint you throw it right back down their throat with a forceful, loud “ARE NOT”

The annoying girlfriend who can’t just let it go when he says a double negative. I just can’t bite my tongue. It doesn’t make sense!

“I don’t know nothing about this”

Well actually mate, if you don’t know nothing, then you must know everything, and you sure as hell don’t know that two negatives make a positive.


I even cringe when my 5-year-old students forget to use finger spaces.

Yes Elmer the elephant is patchwork, and you wrote on the line. But come on kid put your finger down every once in a while! I can get over the fact that "he" has an extra e, because we just covered the ee digraph that day, so Master 5 must listen to me sometimes!

5.       You jump up and down with excitement when you walk past a book store

OK, you don’t walk past it, you walk straight in. Maybe you don’t jump up and down, but you spend at least an hour browsing and not buy a single thing.

And by browsing I mean reading. Is that even allowed?

A bookstore to a writer, is like a candy store to a child.

Christmas really can come more than once a year, but only to the lucky ones.